I don’t wear a scarf, this is true. I understand that a Muslim woman is obliged to wear a scarf and it is compulsory.

Religion has never been forced upon me. My parents have never forced it upon me neither my siblings. Not because they didn’t find the need important, but because they knew that our lifestyles had very minimum amount of religion input in it.

Don’t get me wrong. I try to pray all of my 5 daily prayers, I fast during Ramadan, and I understand some of the do’s and don’ts of Islam that are relevant to me in my life. I’ve been to the masjid for 12 years until I finished the Quran.

I find all these things necassary for me to practice on a daily basis so I do. But I would not say I’m as close to God as I should be.

Anyway, so I was taunted for not wearing a scarf. “you can’t be a Muslim if you’re not wearing a scarf”

I beg to differ. I don’t wear a scarf because I don’t feel my faith is strong enough for me to keep it on forever once I start. I genuinely think it’s wrong to wear the scarf for a few days/weeks and then take it off. And I don’t want to become one of those girls that wear the scarf at home or around my parents/family but as soon as I turn the corner of my street, I take it off.

I also had a debate about hijabi’s themselves and a question was raised. “Are girls/woman that wear a hijab a better Muslim in general then those that don’t wear one?”

My argument was:

Not necessarily. A hijab represents distinct identities and claims to religious authenticity. It as a divine mandate that protects Muslim women and defines their place in society. It represents a choice made by the women who wear them, and not because it is a requirement. They wear them by choice. Mainly not to be looked at like a piece of meat by men. If a woman wears her hijab with these intentions and performs her Islamic tasks then fair enough, she is the better Muslim. But what if she wears the hijab because she has too? And then practices Haraam things? Surely the hijab then means nothing in this aspect?

For example, I used to know two girls. One that wore a hijab and one that did not and kept her hair out. If you asked an outsider as to which looked more religious and pious, he or she will undoubtedly say the hijabi. This was only because of the fact she wore an universally known as an islamic garment, but in fact she was less the religious and pious out of the two.

She did not practice her 5 daily prayers at all, never used to keep her fasts nor pray Quran.

Whereas on the other hand, the non-hijabi never missed a single prayer or a fast, nor did she go a day without laying hands on a Quran.

This is the point I wanted to make to justify why I do not wear a scarf. I don’t feel like wearing a scarf will bring me closer to God at this moment in time, neither do I feel as I could wear it in this society. However, I do, whole heartedly respect those girls that manage to wear a scarf day in, day out in this modern times. InshAllah in the future, my faith will strengthen and I will find the will and power to wear the hijab.